My favourite comment spam

Martin Belam  by Martin Belam, 21 January 2011

As I mentioned in my post about comment spam earlier this week, offering 'dofollow' links on my blog comments attracts a lot of comment spam. And some of it is amusingly inept. Here is a gallery of some of my favourites...

Wordle

Yes, I made the Wordle using Wordle. The thing you referenced.



Feed Your Rss

You will feed my RSS? Mate, I think yr doing it wrong.



Dali

Indeed. I'm not sure I can name any other surelaist artist apart from this Salvadore Dali chap.



Pest Control

Let's be honest here. Between you and me, I think you have a vested interest in there not being a gleaming pest-free futuristic landscape anywhere, eh?



Twitter Rules

So let me get this straight...your one rule is to have no rules, except to tweet, which you've given up.



Racist

Caution! Genius at work! Yep, there's nothing more likely to make me publish a link to 'racist jokes' on a blog post where I've been moaning about racism than signing off 'Peace'.



World Best Internet Marketing

Sir, I beg to differ.



Metaspam

So meta. I write a blog post slagging off some inept SEO. An inept SEO tries to link spam it, whilst slagging the original SEO guy.



Tldr

I love the way this basically says "tl;dr, but can I siphon off some PageRank please, ta".



Ali Con

'Alistair conditioning' is my favourite concealed keyword ever.



Disclaimer Essay

Do you not think I'll recognise my own disclaimer?



Total Disclaimer

Bloody hell, at least pvtzahar tried to change my disclaimer, instead of quoting it straight back at me...



As I, Mr. Bingo, expect more effort from you...



Come To You

Please don't.



Alina

Alina, I can only hope you've put a bit more effort into your photo humour site than you have into your comment spam content strategy.



I Will Follow

This is not a U2 fan blog, you know.



New Trends

Yes, as opposed to the previous fifty years of popular music culture, when new trends weren't happening at all.



Follow Newspaper

A time-travelling comment spammer from the future, in a dystopian world where we only have one newspaper between the lot of us?



Turkey Cyprus

Because nothing says 'come to our beautiful island' like the spectre of 30,000 dead.



Great Things

Although, sadly, your link being published isn't one of them...



Snatching defeat from the jaws of having left an almost coherent on topic comment.



Cancer

Medical spam tastefully crow-barred into this comment



Ccr Hobby

Another carefully crafted segue



Streaming

The word streaming has multiple connotations there.



Wet

Do they? Really? To the innermost? Well, not on my blog, but have you met my friend 'Tony Streaming'?

And finally...

This person didn't even try to get a back link - but who would have thought a blog post about Bargain Hunt could provoke such a fury...?

Offensive comment spam

9 Comments

I feel a completely inadequate occasional commenter on your blog now. I'm just not in that class. Sorry :)

At least your comment spam appears to be written with the English language in mind. I invite so much Russian spam these days that Chrome politely asks if I'd like WordPress' comments overview page translated.

I do not understand anything

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That's a great collection of spam comments. I've got an idea. How about a website dedicated to the best of spam comments (I'm sure that exists somewhere).

The pest control one is the best one. A vested interest no doubt! But it's nice that you let the links exist when somebody might actually put together a coherent thought when signing their name. Nice people...the world walks all over them!

The screengrabs made me chuckle. As one of the previous posters said, makes a change for them to be in English! Keep the posts coming, Kassie x

Martin,

Thanks for making such a humorous posting. It would be interesting to know how much the spammers get paid to post such garbage. I know building back links is very popular and a key SEO strategy but I had no idea how little thought the spammers put into their postings. I guess if you get paid by quantity vs quality it doesn't matter what you post. If only the email addresses they used were legitimate it would be nice to spam them back.

I've just spent an hour trolling through all the unapproved posts on my "barely" one month old bulletin board and while I was mildly amused initially, that amusement turned to annoyance pretty quickly.

My message to all the spammers, Russian "women" seeking companionship, Nigerian, Indian and other ethnically diverse millionaires wanting to share in your wealth and most of all to the person or persons who email me daily wanting my bank account details so they can deposit somebody elses unclaimed lottery winnings......is simply this....

"DIE!"

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