No Becks Please - We're The Daily Mail

 by Martin Belam, 31 August 2005

You have to love the Daily Mail. On page 15 today Simon Heffer wrote a new set of rights to "redress the balance" of human rights legislation. After a litany of the usual suspects - "the right to hear non-regional accents on Radio 4 occasionally", "the right of the public to know where their Prime Minister is going on holiday", and "the right to restrict entry to our country". He finishes with:

The right not to have to read about Mr and Mrs Beckham

Turn to page 30 (via a quick peek on page 23 in a family newspaper of a paparazzi shot of one of Sadie Frost's breasts) and there you'll find a nice big picture of the very same Mr Beckham as part of what I understand to be a "comedy" feature photoshopping Nancy Dell'Olio into famous pictures alongside an 'amusing' commentary in a faux Italian accent.

David Beckham in the Daily Mail
My man Svennis he say: 'Nancy I'm-a worried. I needa someone forra Inghliterra who canna play in the hole, link uppa with Becks anna Frankie Lampard anna score on a regular basis.' I say: 'Look-a no further, Svennis-baby, I your gal!'


Can you explain how a Daily Mail came to be in your possession?

You have the right to remain silent. But it may harm your defence if you fail to mention when questioned something that you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be used in evidence

>> Can you explain how a Daily Mail came to be in your possession?

One of the advantages of living at the terminus of a tube line is that when you get off the train on the way home you can generally pick up two or three national newspapers for free - provided you can grab them before they cleaning staff get to them. I usually sit at the opposite end of the train to the exit now, to maximise my chance of picking up the day's press.

Mind you, I could always have popped round to my parent's house - they've taken the Daily Mail since I was a kid. I've asked my dad why several times, but he just replies "You have to know what *they* are thinking".

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